This posting for those who are finding it difficult to meditate lately. Including myself.
Whether we are beginners or well-seasoned practitioners in meditation - we are always going to experience times where it is not 'easy' to sit in our stillness.
There are going to be times when you're so clouded with emotions, stress, anxiety, restlessness...
meditation seems virtually impossible or the last thing we feel like doing. Or our minds have created stories for ourselves why we dont have time for it etc. In times like these naturally we seek comfort in the situation through comfort foods, coffee, sugars, or other habits we have
to make us feel somewhat more content or happier about ourselves temporarily, yet we are still left with the emotional turmoil or dis-'ease' we felt in the first place.
Sometimes the best way to deal with the discomfort in our thoughts and emotions is to 'sit right in it'. To sit down regardless how you're feeling at the moment, commiting this time to sit and watch the emotional tornado fly through. Too often we feel we need to 'do' something to feel better. Yet, the only solution I have found is to sit 'in it'. As we sit in the emotions and thoughts that are swirling around us, we notice the speed and chaoticness of these emotions and thoughts. We see how cloudy we feel, unable to think clearly or rationally. It may not feel the most comfortable position to be in at that moment, in fact, it can feel the most tormenting thing one can do to oneself sometimes. To sit in ones chaotic state. It can be very confronting. Yet as we notice the swirls of chaos, noticing the cloud of emotions we are in - in that very moment, we have stepped out of the clouds of emotions. Huh? How? What does this mean, you ask? If we were still stuck in and amongst the clouds - how could we realise that there is a cloud of emotion in the first place - wouldn't we be so trapped in the turmoil to even notice?? Think about this one. It takes a little to digest. That as soon as we make contact with the fact that we are no longer 'IN' a cloud of thoughts and emotions because we can 'see' or 'notice' that there IS a cloud in the first place.
As we sit watching the cloud of thoughts and emtions swirl, we eventually watch the movements slow down. Knowing that these thoughts and emotions do not define who we are in this present moment as we sit - they are just movements in our thoughts/mind which we've created during the day. I guess this is similar to the analogy in class about watching the sediments in the murky water settle. Yet, sometimes its easier said than done.