Victims or perpetrators?

We are such creatures of habit, in our actions and our thoughts. As little toddlers, we learn to put one foot in front of the other, eventually these single steps become several steps and before you know it we are walking and running. This a healthy way to learn by naturally trying, then falling, and repeating this process till we feel more comfortable and confident in travelling on our feet - and then, this becomes a natural part of ourselves. It seems simple really, common sense right? But what thoughts and habits have we created, recently and perhaps from many years - that are now, how we perceive as ‘ourselves’?

So think about the experiences that we have had over the week. How did they make us feel? Perhaps some more pleasant than others.

Knowing that we are creators of our experiences, what have we chosen to experience? And perhaps ‘become’. What perception/s of ourselves has made us feel these emotions from these experiences? It’s amazing how everyone can have a different perspective of the one same experience, even though all people were in the same room etc. Same with our experiences, each experience can be felt and enjoyed/not enjoyed through our own perception of ourselves.

A classical example is when we feel overburdened by our work, family and/or social commitments and obligations. Sometimes this can lead us to feeling quite overwhelmed and exhausted at times. Some can come to the conclusion of feeling like a ‘victim’ of their circumstances. My question, who is the victim? Of whom? Knowing that we have full choice (in theory) to choose whatever we wish to do with our time. What are we saying about how we value or perceive ourselves? Are our needs and wants lesser of importance than others? Are we not as deserving to feel good about ourselves? Quite confronting sometimes, yet very interesting to see how we meet our experiences from an internal perspective - it can become way too easy to blame the external circumstances isn’t it? So why ‘are’ we choosing to commit or do things that make us feel exhausted and overwhelmed. For some of us, it’s become ‘so’ frequent and more ‘the norm’ - we know nothing else but to feel exhausted and overwhelmed. And quite often wonder why. Why we fall ill more frequently. Why we cant ‘enjoy’ life. Hence my question again - who’s the ‘real’ victim of our experiences?

What thoughts of ourselves have we habitually told ourselves and experienced through those eyes and have now become? Knowing that these are all just habits, old perspectives of ourselves and experiences. So just notice, without judgment, but just notice how we hold ourselves internally in our experiences. How DO we choose to perceive ourselves in each and every experience?