Thursday, May 7, 2009

Why the Angst?

Lately I have seen and felt a lot of anxiety... through my students and my own experience.
Funny where these angst lie, and how we re-act (or not re-act) to them. Most of the time ‘fear’ can be the cause of the angst. Fear of what? Fear of losing ourselves, others, relationships, things… usually all the things that we want to enjoy and embrace - yet we have chosen to add fear to these equations... why?? Why do we do this to ourselves? It’s funny. We tend to strive and want the ideal circumstances, whether it be in the work, family, social arena... yet, how often do we step back and enjoy what we do have? Or even stop to notice what we have in front of us? What do we do instead? We possibly enjoy it for a brief moment, when we are open to the new possibilities - yet, when we get attached to these things, people and circumstances... we tend to add fear into the equation by fearing the longevity of 'owning' these things and situation. The question is, do we 'own' anything in the first place?? Do we 'own' people? Do we ‘own’ money? Do we 'own' our jobs? Technically we don’t, people, money and jobs all come and go throughout our lives. Yet how often do we get attached to our loved ones and our heart strings are pulled dependant on their actions? Likewise with money, how often do we sit and enjoy what we purchase rather than stress about our next pay cheque or purchase?

Why do we get so attached to our current circumstances and fear the possibilities of changes in the future??

When we attach value to these things - we seek to control the situation. So our actions tend to be driven from this fear, fear of change, fear of 'losing' what we current 'have'. But again, I ask: what do we 'own'?? How can we own people? Does a parent really 'own' a child - as he/she grows up and finds their choices in life? Does a person 'own' their partner? Do we ‘own’ money? So why, are our actions geared towards protecting these 'controls' or perceived 'ownership' of things?? Wouldn't it be more fun to just embrace and enjoy the experiences that we have with our loved ones, our jobs, our ideal circumstances etc? Yet, why do we sit in such a fog of emotions based in these fears and anxiety that really just exist in our heads... what experiences are we choosing for ourselves... ones of guilty and fear? Or enjoyment of what is really before us - the great company of our loved ones and our perfect situation of what we've wanted in the years past and is now reality, before our eyes. What are you choosing to see and feel today?

I choose the perfection of ‘what is’ now…

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